You Couldn't Afford Me.

But that's ok, cause humpdays are freebies.

“There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth.” - Tina Fey

(Source: jerksicaday)

I think that you need to get your cable fixed and stop confusing me with your soap operas.

(Source: goddamitboyd)